The Rhombus Array


Such Wisdom In One
May 30, 2007, 8:57 pm
Filed under: dont . ask

Today at the railway station, leaving Manchester, a large crowd stood waiting for a tiny sprinter train.

A girl of about seven looked up at her mother and said “if it had three carriages, then we’d all fit on without a squeeze”. Should she be running railtrack?

Such wisdom in one dot dot dot.

dont . ask



Sweet Smell Of
May 30, 2007, 8:41 pm
Filed under: dont . ask

Wonderful David Attenborough. Thanks to him I have discovered that lion’s paws have “a sweet, muscular smell”. So said a bearded expert as he buried his face eagerly into the foot-pad of the sedated Queen of The Jungle.

How few people there must be who have tasted the sweet smell of dot dot dot!

dont . ask



Quick Insults
May 27, 2007, 7:56 pm
Filed under: dont . ask

Two quick insults for anything that deserves to be dismissed off hand:

  • It’s more Newsround than Newsnight
  • It’s more filling than fulfiling
  • dont . ask



    Beautiful & Sad
    May 24, 2007, 10:50 am
    Filed under: dont . ask

    What could be more beautiful – more truly, truly beautiful – and yet more sad – more utterly, utterly sad – than a sad & beautiful show-reel of television commercials?

    My golly gosh – they are beautiful little films.

    Sad, isn’t it?

    dont . ask



    The Fire Brigade
    May 22, 2007, 7:26 pm
    Filed under: dont . ask

    Do the Fire Brigade still tempt stuck cats down from trees?

    Or have they now got better things to do (eg paperwork, extinguishing blazes, etc.)?

    dont . ask



    Cilit Bang
    May 22, 2007, 5:41 pm
    Filed under: dont . ask

    Some new Cilit Bang for the modern day:

    One Of Them – a Lib Dem.

    eg My local MP is One of Them.

    Having It Large – Congestion Charge

    eg Don’t forget to pay your Having It.

    dont . ask

    ps Cilit Bang – Rhyming Slang



    Hot or Cold?
    May 18, 2007, 2:12 pm
    Filed under: dont . ask

    If you have a digital camera may well at some point have come across a white balance button. Anyone who has ever been camping in a green tent will know first hand that what appears to be white to one eye, might not do to another.

    Not all whites are white. They very in temperature from red to blue.

    Temperature?

    Red and Blue?

    Why is Red always Hot, and Blue always Cold? Blue things are not always cold (gas flames), and nor are red things always hot (a tomato straight from the fridge). Funny, innit?

    dont . ask



    Buddy
    May 6, 2007, 6:08 pm
    Filed under: dont . ask

    Is Buddy the new Fella?

    Is Fella the new Dude?

    Is Dude the new Mate?

    Is Mate the new Geezer?

    All in all – I’ve started using the word buddy much too often and with far too much natural, qualmless ease for my own liking. Is anyone else doing this, or is it just me?

    dont . ask



    Too Much Vagina?
    May 5, 2007, 10:50 pm
    Filed under: dont . ask, dont . tell

    can there be too much vagina? and if so – is it accrued Sex And The City?

    just a small reference to six whole years of American television.

    Is this what women’s culture has come to? In which case – it has certainly come at least as far as men’s (The Fashion Chanel/Men and Motors/etc.).

    It is a dangerous show to air in the United States. A nation, which famously has no sense of irony, that cannot comprehend that each and every thirty minutes should be understood entirely in a postmodernist way. And a nation what’s more that is being threatened every day with a sitcom of epic proportions: the spectcale of a 60s TV White House, occupied by aging, face-lifted, perma-tanned superstars, Bill and Hilary starring as Mr and Mrs President.

    All in all: gawd help us all.

    dont . tell and dont . ask



    Sonar for Men
    April 30, 2007, 10:04 pm
    Filed under: dont . ask

    Urinating. At night. With the lights off.

    Sonar for men. Because not only bats see through sound.

    dont . ask